Dreamer and Freedom

My team and I got together in Gainesville, GA for the last four days to prepare before we left for Columbia. I would be lying if I said these four days were awesome and I enjoyed every minute. They exhausted me but filled me. Each day prepared me in different ways for this month.

Our team will be working with a ministry called  Ciudad Refugio, and will serve in their drug and rehabilitation center. One of our World Race mentors worked with this ministry in the past and shared her experience to prepare us for the next month of our life. 

As she shared with us, fear started setting in. The reality of the serious brokenness but radical hope that we were about to experience created a knot in my stomach that I couldn’t untangle on my own. I’m not naturally an anxious person, so when these feelings do come they feel a little foreign. I felt as if I was ill equipped and even questioned my role in being here. 

I kept thinking, If I don’t like this, my parents can’t just come pick me up, I’m in another country! Haha.

During worship that night I was reminded of a sweatshirt I brought with me that says “DREAMER” across the front. This sweatshirt is from my home church who created it after a sermon series called “Dreamer” in 2019 where my pastor asked the question: “If you could change one thing about the world right now, what would you change?”

Addiction.

In that moment, two years ago, I knew that this would play a large part in my life. That night, sitting openhanded, I prayed that the Lord would use me, even though I had no idea what that would look like. 

Later on that night, one of my teammates spoke the word “free” over our group. I was reminded of the word “freedom” and the role it has played in my life. 

Prior to deciding to come to Columbia, I had decided in my mind that I wasn’t going. I thought I wasn’t ready to see and experience going into a rehab center again and especially not doing ministry in one. In the months leading up to my decision date the Lord walked me through healing wounds I had and also showed me where I believed things about Him that were untrue. He showed me that I’m never alone, He will never leave me, and He is always by my side. This seems like a simple belief, but it took me a long time to fully grasp (and He is always reminding me haha).

I sat down that night after those thoughts had sunk in and was in awe at how the Lord took my spiraling thoughts and set me in His peace, reminding me why He has placed me here. My sweatshirt reminded me of the prayer I prayed years ago for the Lord to use me in this area that my heart breaks for. The word freedom reminded me that I can have confidence going into this, because He has been equipping me and getting me ready to serve here.

He took that heartbreak and deep desire to do more and shaped my heart to get me exactly where he wanted me to be. Yes, this is out of my comfort zone. Yes, I feel like I’m walking in with just about no clue what to expect BUT I’m about to hop on a plane so there’s no going back!!! Haha. I can’t wait to see what the Lord does this month. I’ll be keeping you in the loop. 🙂

Here are some pictures from training camp! (Also I’m posting this three days late because we have been busy! As of now I just finished my second day in Columbia and will be writing about it soon:)